This is my script called "One Chance":
Only a few of the scripts creating by me and my other class peers would be selected. So in class we each read through each others and gave feedback on what we thought about each others scripts. We also had a script workshop with Becky Knapp who came in and helped us develop our scripts and gave her own personal opinions and feedback on what she thought about our scripts.
This is the feedback I received about "One Chance":
- People thought that the storyline was interesting but it lacked momentum
- With David winning the lottery. Why was he sad and not happy?
- Winning the lottery should bring happiness to a family and not break it.
- Surely David would of told his family straight away.
- It has a good message that money cant solve every problem. Which is shown through the breaking marriage and him not being able to come to terms with winning the lottery.
This was the feedback I received from my fellow Class Piers, my teacher Miss Shipp and Becky Knapp.
With this Feedback I received I decided to work on ways in which I could improve my script. I took into account the feedback and used it heavily.
To give my story more momentum I decided to add in extra scenes at the start of my script to show the problems between David and his wife to build the story up. Also I have decided that David tries to use them money as a way of saving there marriage but dew to the problems they are unable to get the marriage back on track. David eventually gives the money to charity.
Within the class only 3 scripts were selected. Unfortunately my script was not selected.
- People thought that the storyline was interesting but it lacked momentum
- With David winning the lottery. Why was he sad and not happy?
- Winning the lottery should bring happiness to a family and not break it.
- Surely David would of told his family straight away.
- It has a good message that money cant solve every problem. Which is shown through the breaking marriage and him not being able to come to terms with winning the lottery.
This was the feedback I received from my fellow Class Piers, my teacher Miss Shipp and Becky Knapp.
With this Feedback I received I decided to work on ways in which I could improve my script. I took into account the feedback and used it heavily.
To give my story more momentum I decided to add in extra scenes at the start of my script to show the problems between David and his wife to build the story up. Also I have decided that David tries to use them money as a way of saving there marriage but dew to the problems they are unable to get the marriage back on track. David eventually gives the money to charity.
Within the class only 3 scripts were selected. Unfortunately my script was not selected.
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